The Wig.

 Sometimes hair can be the way a woman feels about herself in that particular moment in time.
A lot of times people frown at women with extensions or wigs, why?
  Is it because their flaws say their imperfect? Why does it matter how long your hair is ?


I would be lying if I said I never wore a wig, or a extensions. I recently started to wear wigs, I don't know why, but I seen it as, I don't have to do my hair anymore, it can be already done and BOOM! ready to go. However, I wear half wigs ! but now I'm wearing lace FRONTS! ewl ! I hate em, I think people with no edges benefit from it more.

Am I blind or do they want me that way?

I remember the days when I did not care for Love the way love had proposed itself to me.
Dedicated it claimed, skeptical I became, and yet sparks fly at the end of my tears.
Then, love told me have no fear.
I don't fit into this life.. and whenever I try to create my own, I feel as if my heart has been deserted and I have been left alone.

Complex I seem to be in his eyes
Although, he begs to differ, I read into his lies.

Why is it that I can not see my own beauty when someone holds up a mirror image of their compliments?
Why is it someones sincerity frightens me?
Why does it seem like I am giving up on love when love has failed to comprehend me?

I switched lanes hoping I could ride smoothly being the confident me that I desire to be,
Then I realized lanes are parallel so there is no difference direction, just difference in position.

I guess I yern for real recognition.
I recognize I am alive.
See the flaws that I hide
Laugh with me not at me..
be the your best when you are with me...

Instead your head swells up trying to figure me out
Instead your love runs dry when I do not run on your time
Instead you point the finger low-key towards me and then take it back..

You say I don't know what I want yet, you want to be with me...How is it you want to be with someone who does not know what they want?

I guess we reflect one another, and we cant help but desire to be near ourselves.

Am I blind, I believe you were trying to slip out of my love for the many reasons you said you had no feelings about..

"It is in the past" yet I can see our future by looking back..how is that?

Do you want me to be blind, close my eyes and act like there is no pain inside?
Do you want me to be blind, like the way you look at those girls don't make you wonder inside?
Do you want me to be blind, like I had to ask you for respect by not looking away when you claim im the treasure you want to save ?

Am I the blame? Or are you ashamed?

Am I blind because I do not see the love you have for me... reacting under the pressure.. claim to move slow and respect my wishes yet you granting wishes of your own...If I sink then you pull the white flag and never return, am I wrong for letting you go every time I realize this love has no home.

Am I blind?

You said you care about me and flirt and things but then separate ya self from me as If you made the wrong decision by even mentioning it to me.

Do you want me to be blind, like I don't see you distancing yourself from me?
Do you want me to be blind like  I don't see your hate for me?

I tried to be the person they wanted, then I did it for me... I warned out by LOVE and Trust swinging me this way and that way just to tell me I WILL NEVER BE GOOD ENOUGH.

Actors ! ?? >>> THIS WAY !!

Finally, or should I say "PERCISELY" !?
   Classes are starting back soon, and no more sitting on my ass, I need to make something happen!

Finally, by the mercy and grace of God this film gets done before summer '13. IM CALLING ALL ACTORS TO BECOME A PART OF SOMETHING LEGENDARY. Forget the gimics, the propagabda, what about whats is real ! and what is the NOW ! If your willing to change something in this world, lets start off with what went wrong in the first place- what is sightful to us .

Join hands with me, on my journey to film resurrection.

The King and His Queen

The King once was a prince, and his lessons was never learned, BUT before he knew it he was something he imagined and never knew. His love was what he knew of himself. She. the Queen, was full of deceit and could not bare the mirrors of her reflection. The King never mind the mirrors because what he seen with his bare eye was truth that SOUL is a matter of knowing. She finally took her focus into the direction of self and reflected it on others. As Prince, he longed to be rebellious against his true title-instead he'd rather be stuck in survival for the riches that he was naturally embedded with. The Prince was only saved by the loss of his dignity and prideful success- naturally, by his Queen. The Night of the beginning to his end , he was surrounded as such a King he would become, but the fear was heavy on the tongue like thick air in a tunnel.
 As the celebration began to end, his princess shared such a thought that would flood his memory on earth. The Princess was just like her King, superior , knowledgeable, yet visionary & Ambitious. She knew by thought that his rights to be titled as such was a given, but those who are not blessed with such the title began to steal, attack, and divide their jealousy. Queen,  the angel of love, her passion for her beloved King was sort to steal every bullet, inhale every wound, and guard every pain that came forth on to her love. Queen, she was no different from her King.
   Later on, she has realized her strength, her ability, and her true love for the Prince. King stands now to his amplifier with such thought of prosperity, thinking of all the obstacles he has faced, but with his Queen, he'll never forget what true prosperity means until his loyalty has bonded with maturity. No longer Prince...



Written By: Rebel * Monique J.

"Sometimes , things in life arent handed to us, but truth is free because it is different- it is what we know other than what we obtain through thought and growth.
So, this is my short story about a King who , of course, once was a prince."

Where is the love?.

Where have I been > stuck in wounderland ?
My whole life, all I ever felt was out of place , out of the loop and into dog shit.
I love these things that everyone else loved but I cant help but pick my tears up from the ground , even when they hit into the concrete others swear they didnt hear a sound.
I really am living unheard?
 Could it be my confidence- If im too sure I draw people away, and if im not sure then people go on stand by but really stand away... no matter what I do in life no one will ever hear me.
My voice is either too strong or to low .
I feel unwanted here on earth, someone take me back to VENUS ! I don't belong here.

lost in translation.

The Voice Within PT. 1

" The idea of being unworthy of a compliment, is being unworthy of dignity. It is your body , your mind and your soul that carries such spirit and confidence that allure people to your gratitude. When you can be satisfied with what you are , you then allow the beauty within flare across energies, Do not look forward to possibilities, MAKE THEM HAPPEN AND PERHAPS YOU SHALL SUCCEED."

~douleur~

Sometimes it takes more than you know to pull strength out your worst memory. I guess I always expected my strength to be given to me or written down on a scrap piece of paper. It hurts more than it seems. I finally discovered life. Now I just have to understand the concept- if there is one- and search the right words to define it in ways everyone can understand.

Dear my angel,

 I felt nothing knowing that you have come down to bless me with a challenge, some people fail to recognize  its true influence. Oh you brought peace in my space and serenity in my heart. I felt nothing but your love trying to spread. I panicked  while looking into her eyes hoping she would understand and forgive me. I thought you were gonna change my life in ways i NEEDED ! But again I tried to cover my image to the world and hide the emotions I could never show. The tears that lye on my face are guilt and pain. I didn't know of anything else to save you from me. I wish I didn't have to depart us and reach into your heart without consenting your approval. I know you would have not hurt me but I can not say the same to you. I am full of sin and so i could not see you in pain or grieve or to hate me and your first love/your guidance. He and I are in love and in competition for lust. Forgive me my angel I wish to have not let you go for my selfish ways has departed us in ways to deceive our true love. Your in a place where there is a great spirit to bring you to the horizon. Your soul  will be granted because your innocence will retrieve in a better part of me. Understand me my love . For I can't hold on any longer to the lies he gives or the misleading of my heart. How could I love him one moment and question him the next. i WANT YOU TO KNOW I am full of love and I WANT To give it all away to you. No one will take us from each other. Each day I go on thinking about what you would have been like, how you would look, if you would look just like me if you would talk like me or him or if my mom would embrace your presence. I am full of life my love I just didn't know how to show love because I never got it in ways I wanted . So busy hoping someone would look my way to hold me close and take the pain away. I grew up not knowing who to trust because it was so hard believing the lies I knew would eventually fall into play.When bad things happened i KNEW IT ! I was never suprised when someone would hurt me. I became immune  to the disappointment and rejection. I just wanted someone to call my own someone to own and hold me. Tell me and be honest with me. I never wanted to have to loose I always wanted to have and to prosper. I never should have let you go.

He lost me . once , twice, three times a day. I thought maybe it was me. Maybe I was bipolar and didn't know how to show one emotion. He said he wanted me to be happy, I didn't believe because I don't know how to accept such honesty or such emotion. Everything I know of was artificial and exaggerated, usually temporarily. He would point me in the direction of the highlighted unusual moments I could never have again. You were the best highlight and I lament not giving your life a chance. I would never forgive myself as much as I will cry. I hope things will get better for us but I see nothing positive. When I try the devil shields the possibilities or at least he imitates the worse of things and CAUGHT UP  I am.  Fighting for love was never my forte if something wasn't already pure I didn't have intentions on saving it . He loves me so much , he says yet I aggressively feel differently while watching him dip his finger into my most possessive prize of jealousy. MY jealously is like no other, Its LIKE its embedded in me as a being yet I never come across it until someone tries to mess with it and then everything becomes obvious.You should know that jealousy will help you burry yourself. To self destruct is to prey on someone else's belongings. It is better to analyze than to interpret, you get more truth out of knowing than thinking. Question everything and everyone to the extent they do not know they are questioning you.

I must go . I must see you again. I must not forget you. I may never hold you at this point but I will feel you forever in memory.