Regretful

I can hold you at a distance and still feel your pain.
I cry into your arms and suddenly I realize my happiness was destined to be failure if you were to be gone away from the touch of my skin, the sound of my voice and the untouchable feeling of life i breathe into you.
 I have given you everything and nothing to prove that I did besides the pain in my eyes, the fear in my feet and the high sound waves through my follicle.

I scream for the freedom I once had, I beg for mercy of which I once held and I cry out for the love I always push away.
 I may not know what I want but I know what I dont want ..the creases in your head.. the lies on your lips, the tears on your cheek and thoughts of a jealous lion ..I run from love but I tripped over it when I thought it was more than what our bubble can fit.
  I regret you loving me because I regret hurting you .
I regret holding your hand cause when you would move in closer my hands would grab a brick and begin to build as you begin to believe the wall was around us it was really in-front of you and behind me.

I don't know what we are suppose to do or even be, but when its not you then everything else fades away into the darkness and I become something else.

I regret turning my head because you were an ache I could not medicate. I regret sharing your kisses as if It was a bullet in my lungs if it was love i missed it. I regret sharing a feeling unknown with someone unknown ..but i admit the new feeling is amazing but not as touching as your distance... I swear im living in the resistance.

I regret saying words I couldnt mean when doors were behind me and the streets defined me.
I regret playing my way into a game without a rating now im above a level I could never learn to stay in ..so I move up -1 and fall down -13 in miles away from what we will never see.

Hold the memories and never forget me, cause change made me this way but my future is shaped so curve like I fall inbetween the cracks of the regret system..

I just gotta get this poison out of my system.

-Lady.

Friends.

Why is it such a big deal that I have guy-friend, whats up with the jealousy trait ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LAY OFF !

The worst thing you can do to a girl is be on her back like your her dad. Don't get me wrong us girls like to know that your not passing them up , but when you start to suspect that every guy I make a friend is some type of dude that wants more...my next question is , do you trust me ?

So guys aren't the only one with jealousy issues , oh well your the topic of the day so deal with it !
 Maybe I don't want to be committed anymore or maybe I don't want to be settled down anymore. There are a lot of things I haven't gotten the chance to see and do , but with him SOMETIMES  I feel like I don't need to.

Isn't it creepy when he goes through your phone & starts to bring up conversations with your friends; I'm usually stuck on stupid like how did you know about that. Going through your BF/ GF phone is a sign of trust. If trust isn't there my advice is to move on.

Falling out Of Love

 Have you ever felt as if you had a fairy tale with someone but can't quite put your name on it , well I am in exactly that situation. Each and every day I realize that my love for him is fading && I can't quite tell him because I myself is so complex. It would hurt me to be dumped by him because , well its been so long. I guess time in a relationship is a trophy not the prize. What is the purpose or the prize in a relationship? Why can't we just have fun instead of being so serious? Am I even ready for a relationship ? What about all the things we shared with each-other?  What about our moments?




Space is very important in a relationship. If you see the person your with 24/7 then I guess you'll never feel the same. I suppose that's what happens when your young & experienced. Love dies young.

Meditation, Privacy &&. Space.

How often do you spend time alone away from the world ? Well, I spend time almost every other day trying to place my thoughts in order, alphabetical order that is. Insane much ? Yea well that's just me and I am not ashamed to say that I am not lonely when alone.

    I love to be in my room by myself , helps me think better. As long as I have pen , paper, music and a mirror to reflect I may come out like an angel.

<3. I love having my own room because privacy is very important to me as well. Being able to have "stuff" and allowing my room to be my painting board where I just splash my inner self in is more than a blessing. In a simpler form of expression, whatever I have in my room is a reflection of who and what I am about. For example, my magazines are my way of going through fashion, make-up and other peoples art- my Marilyn Monroe four framed picture on my wall shows my love for old movies. Then, I have my mickey mouse name tag over my closet( my middle name is creatively painted on a blank space which is surrounded by mickey and minnies love).

=) Space, *sigh* when in a relationship I require lots of space from the other person, too much of someone creeps me out and makes me very uncomfortable. With space I am able to have my time alone and if I don't have my time alone my thoughts and emotions will bundle up into one (THAT IS NOT GOOD).

Do you ever feel like you have a hard time expressing yourself.. well that's because you don't have time for meditiation, privacy or even space.

Jealousy.

I can not lie or else I would be just like the rest when they're at their best ;).
    Do you know the commercials that always advertise how to handle relationships ? Yea, me either.
What I do know is that we can go back and forth for hours about which gender is more jealous, but we would absolutely get nowhere.

 Here's the thing, we all can be VERY jealous at times, it just depends on the person as well as the situation.
         In relationships things can get very heated; when your guy looks at another girl ass or your girl holds a LONG conversation with a guy of her "interest" you ( whomever you are lol ) can get real furious and end up having an argument about the misunderstanding.

Well, those are all the possible reactions to actions. If you tell your girlfriend or boyfriend what your interest are in woman or men on a physical note then hey ! now every time she/he sees a someone that looks to their interest they'll going to be nagging about where your eyes are landing.

             TRUTH OF THE MATTER IS ... JEALOUSY GOES A LONG WAY ... ALL THE WAY TO DOUBLE STANDARD !

TIP: DO NOT TELL YOUR BF/GF WHAT TO DO UNLESS THEY LIKE TO BE CONTROLLED.
        DO NOT TELL YOUR BF/GF OF TWO WEEKS EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU .
        DO NOT GO THROUGH YOUR SPOUSE CELLULAR PHONE, FB, BLOG, OR PERSONAL GADGETS WITHOUT PERMISSION.
         DO NOT ASSUME !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In this generation things like BESTIE, BROTHER, SISTER, AND THE ORIGINAL "FRIEND" HAS CAUSED ASSUMPTION TO CHEATING.

I mean can you blame these people for assuming... the only problem with this situation is that half of these people lie the other half just have a genuine relationship.

*** TIP: DO NOT MISLEAD SOMEONE , THAT WASTE TIME.. IF YOUR GOING TO DO SO BE STRAIGHT UP SO THAT THEIR IS NO REGRETS NOR HATRED BEHIND IT .



When you say no strings attached you mean : PLEASE CUFF ME... IF NOT NOW THEN LATER.

JEALOUSY , SHES BAD BUT IF SHE WERE MINE .. I would one night her for all the right reasons.

Before you tell your "other half" what ticks you off try looking into the mirror for a little reflection, don't forget to check yourself.

<3 LadyFluer<3 Power is knowledge for knowledge is the success untouched to survive power.

The Guy I always knew but never met .

He was mysterious yet I knew how he was and I guess that's why it was so easy for him to open up to me in the long run. Man, I bet if I asked him to tutor me back then he would and we would be dating right now. But he had an image and well I didn't. I always maintained my reputation as Lady and a chill laid back person, but deep down inside I'm wild & adventurous  & conservative all at the same time. I liked how he cursed and it didn't sound like the guy everyone made him out to be or should I say he pretended to be.
        It was a TRIP how he suddenly allowed sparks fly between us something I been forcing and making a Joke for 3 yrs now he decides to take interest? In a way I was hurt and disappointed in myself. I am happily married and unhappily dissatisfied with the relations between my husband & I, we were falling apart and there I was allowing my confusion to make ties with lust, curiosity and temptation.

I did the right thing of course , I put LadyReb'l to sleep and told her I can guide myself through hard times. I know that I am a memory that will only be a burden when my face reappears unexpectedly.
                                      <3. XoXo Lady .

What does it mean to be commited & DO WE HAVE TOOOO ?

I DON'T LIKE BEING COMMITTED IT SCARES ME , BUT AT THE SAME TIME I LIKE TO BE STABLE & SURE.



               WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK ABOUT BEING COMMITTED ?